It was April 2017, I had just completed my degree in Commercial Economics a few months ago, and I was at the Chamber of Commerce. This step felt logical. It has been my dream for years to have my own store. A place where you can escape the fast-paced world and be inspired by aesthetically pleasing sustainable items that are handpicked with care. But now, six years later and with a physical store in place, I sometimes feel that fear and uncertainty overwhelm me.
At times I think I'm done with it. Running a business means facing uncertainties. Sometimes you must push yourself: dealing with rainy days when you don't make sales in the shop and stepping out of your comfort zone to promote your store. Although I know it is unrealistic to think I will close the store when I have those feelings, sometimes it is too much. I try to be extra kind to myself at times like this. During these moments, I tell myself: it will be alright after rain comes sunshine. These moments teach me not to be scared that I don't have sales at the end of the month but to work on something that gives me energy (or take it slow) and to feel grateful for what I have. This is something I've gotten better at over the years.
I was in my first year of college when I noticed I had no energy left. A lot has happened in a short time. During this time, I lost two people close to me, but my body also indicated that I was exhausted. Exhausted by pleasing people, I felt I had to prove myself and felt I had to fix my problems myself and not share my struggles with others. Something that I didn't dare to do because I found it very difficult to trust people: this was the result of bullying in primary school.
When I felt exhausted, I took a break from school and decided to work on myself; learn to listen to myself. It was time to take care of myself, so I started going to therapy. Therapy was a confrontation with myself. I learned to face my social fears and learned to trust not only myself but also the people around me. I got to know myself better and dared to be honest about the peaks and dips in my life. It may sound crazy, but I'm thankful for this period. I now know that it is a must to look at yourself to grow. Sometimes, things don't turn out according to plan: but that is OK. I feel like we need those lows so we can enjoy the highs more.
When I look at the images on my website and Instagram, I realize what I want to express through them. Images with a soothing feeling are what I like to share. Images that bring you back to the here and now. Pay attention to what's important to you and take time for yourself.
Thank you all for following me on this journey. Grateful to you for visiting my webshop, visiting my store, and seeing you enjoy the shop I created. It means the world to me.